Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Chapter 7 - On the Shores of Loneliness

Each of us has experienced loneliness at some point in our lives.  Some of it is a normal part of life.  We can experience loneliness when we move to a new location and can't find a friend.  The pain of loneliness is excruciating when our spouse dies or divorces us; we can also feel loneliness when something is joyful, like when our children go to school or marry and move away.  Many singles experience loneliness often - more often than they would like.  We can be lonely in a crowded room where everyone seems to have someone to talk to but us, or we can be lonely sitting beside our mate with whom we have lost a connection.  Loneliness implies that we are alone - or at least that we are feeling alone.  We are, however, never alone - because Scripture promises that over and over again.   “Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. Don't give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you."   Deut. 31:6  The Message  

One of the biggest tricks that the enemy of our souls plays on us is to make us feel alone.  He speaks to our hearts trying to convince us that we are the only one in the whole wide world that: does that, feels that, acts like that, thinks that, responds that way, is afraid of that, can't do that, is sad, depressed, upset, angry, mad enough to murder, jealous enough to steal, lustful enough to commit adultery, fearful enough to run, shameful enough to hide, guilty enough to deserve hell.  He does that by creating shame so that we won't be transparent with one another.  I run around thinking you've got it together; you run around thinking I have it together; and we are both dying inside because we are both thinking "I alone am the failure."  It is very liberating to come out of the loneliness of self-righteousness into the freedom and understanding of my fallen nature and yours.  I am NOT ALONE in my brokenness.  You are not alone in yours.  We are equally needy at the cross.  This is one of the reasons that we should continue to try to live among a community of believers - even if it is hard.

Even in our pursuit of God, we can find ourselves facing thoughts and fears that we feel are only ours: no one has ever gone this way before.  But this is never true of the believer.  You have a whole parade of people, a "crowd of witnesses," as it were, who have gone before you, facing every kind of doubt, joy, fear, unbelief, sin, victory, power, weakness, persecution, trial, loneliness, and the list goes on and on.  If you have felt it, someone else has too.  

Nevertheless, we want the joy and pleasure of friendships and community.  We are made for it.  "It is not good for man to be alone."  Even though that is true, we cannot always have the depth of community and soul-connection that we long for.  There are times that our God takes us into lonely places in order to develop a deeper friendship with Him.   We should continue to pursue community, but when it isn't available (for whatever reasons) we should fight to believe that we are never completely alone in our sin, our sorrow, our weakness, fears, or doubt.  (Thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.)  Psalm 23  Take heart from the following verses.  

Hebrews 13:5 5Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for God has said, “I will never leave you or abandon you.” 6hence we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can anyone do to me?”

Deuteronomy 31: 5And the LORD shall give them up before your face, that ye may do unto them according unto all the commandments which I have commanded you. 6Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

1.  On page 96 there is a quote about Much-Afraid and how she begins to speak a verse to herself.  What is the promise that she quotes to herself?  How can that verse possibly bring hope to you as well?  

2.  Sometimes when I am in the middle of something hard, my mind wanders most often to the thing that is hard and I can dive into a sea of self-pity.  What are some Scriptures that can encourage you in the middle of some of your most frequent battles? 

3.  Which of the four enemies - Pride, Resentment, Bitterness, and Self-Pity – are you most apt to listen to?  What are some of the things that these four enemies say to you when you are not in a place of your liking?

4.  When they come, how do you fight to believe differently?   

5.  There is something about the idea of the physical presence of God bounding into your life when you are in the middle of difficulty that gives great peace.  Obviously, that is not part of our normal experience.  What hinders you from believing that He is just as present when you simply call upon His name?  Is He present when you call upon His name?  Matthew 28:20.


6.  The Shepherd's diagnosis of the problem Much-Afraid was experiencing on page 104 is very revealing, and Much-

Afraid agreed with Him.  Have you ever experienced something similar when you thought your deliverance was soon to

come, and then became so disappointed when your trouble didn’t end “on time” that you began to allow those same old

enemies to have access to your heart and mind?  

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